Creative Progress

Denim boyfriend shirt, New York & Company (very old). Black skinny jeans, American Eagle. Wanted Babe brogue shoes, Urban Outfitters. Felt wide brimmed fedora, Gap (similar here). Scout leather chevron necklace in black, c/o Danani. Vintage army surplus bag.

      There are days when I hate everything in my closet. There are days I can't stand to look an any artwork I've produced over the past few semesters. There are even days when looking in the mirror freaks me out and I want to change everything I see. I try to move on quickly from all of these feelings. However, I've realized that positive change can come from a place of negativity.
     Feeling uncomfortable in the clothing that I have causes me to stop and wonder: why do I hate my outfit so much that I have to go and change before I even go to lunch? What is it that makes me so uncomfortable that I literally can't stand to be wearing it for another minute? On the days where I have classes in the morning that are over before lunch, I often find myself rushing back to my dorm to actually put on something that I enjoy wearing. I'm not an effortless style guru. By the end of the week, the clothing that I've frantically thrown off of my body in an effort to feel more like myself is strewn about, casualties in the war on my own insecurity.
     I don't hop out of bed at 7:00 in the morning and put together the right outfit often. I try to dream up outfit combinations before drifting to sleep so that I won't have to worry about it in the morning (usually to realize then that I'm not really feeling it). Yes, I care about what I look like and I spend a lot of time and effort maintaining some sort of aesthetic. Is it stupid? Is it a waste of time? I ask myself these questions on a regular basis.
      I don't think my obsession with defining my personal style is a vapid quest. I'm refining my personal identity in the process and that goes so much deeper than just posting my outfit pictures. My quest for having an outfit I feel great in everyday has carried over to stretching my creative muscles in so many other aspects of my life. And I couldn't be happier with the progress I've made so far/this outfit (even if there are days when it looks like a tornado hit my closet).